hey lady…..

I am home sick today, don’t know if it was food poison or just a bad virus but I don’t need to have that experience  again anytime soon! I decided that if it was a virus folks at work would not want to receive this little gem. I am sipping mint tea and thought I would take this time to write about something that has been on my mind.

As I was reading over my past posts and I decided I need to be honest and have full disclosure regarding  judgement. It’s not fair to only write about all the ways I have been judged, what is harder in fact is being honest about judging others. I have been judged my whole life and labeled based on my weight. While I know I am a good, kind person who tries to see the best in people. It’s not always the case. I judge others, I assume things, and I fail.

I work in over- the -rhine in downtown Cincinnati, which has the reputation for being a really bad area. I have had few problems over the 11 years I have worked at Music Hall. If there is anything I hate about that area it’s seeing men with Pit Bull puppies walking down the street with giant chains and padlocks around their necks. I once offered a guy $500 for his puppy….he looked at me and said “fu$k you lady, this dog gonna make me rich” …I think that if I end up getting shot, stabbed or arrested it will surly be for trying to pry a poor puppy or dog from one of these assclowns heartless fingers. Other than those idiots and the person who tried to steal a laptop out of my office a couple of years ago (only to find out that fat people CAN run when they must) I have had little to fear in this neighborhood.

I am often left wondering about the folks who I see on the streets daily. I always wonder how they ended up here? What was the path? Many simply exist lost and broken, not unlike Tristan at one time. I do try to understand and be compassionate but I sometimes fail. One day rushing into work late for a meeting I heard a woman’s voice…”Ma’am” , “Ma’am!” almost shouting,  “HEY LADY”…..I thought,  here it comes…”you got a quarter”, “you got a dollar”, “you got a cigarette” …I whipped around with the red hot answer to those questions burning on my tongue…I shot a look right through her as she stood there in front of me with missing teeth, ratty clothes and her belongings in plastic, crumpled grocery bags… her hand outstretched….”you dropped this, you probably need it”.  It was my security badge to enter work, my parking key card and a $10 bill slipped in between the two. It  must have slipped off my pants where it was clipped. In that moment I was so ashamed, who the hell was I to judge this woman or think that I was too important, too busy to simply turn around.  A common bond shared with the toothless lady in over-the- rhine..both judged by how we looked, nothing more.

recently I judged someone I work with, I did not bother to give her a chance, just dismissed her as someone I would have nothing in common with…. I know better than that, than to be the very person who has judged me so many times. Of course in the end she reached out to help me with this site and project, she opened her heart to helping me even though I had not be especially nice to her. She is kind, supportive , non judging, and an animal lover.  I am very grateful she did not judge me and even more grateful to call her my friend.

I am making a promise to not only be good to animals and myself but to judge less and listen more. The lessons are everywhere, we can learn from them or we can choose to ignore them. I am done ignoring what the world has to teach me.









  1. Tina says:

    I too am trying to remember that we are all humans and deserve equal treatment without judgement. It’s very hard to do! As I’ve been developing my faith this past year or two, I try to remember that I am no better than the “ugly, smoke-smelling, probably low-income” person I saw in Wal-mart for example… God made each of us special and we need to treat everyone with the same respect. Good luck in this task 🙂

  2. Moody says:

    Hey Lori,

    Believe it or not, but I had a similar experience this morning, even though I was on the other end of it.
    As I stood waiting for the shuttle bus to work, this man walked by me heading for one of the buildings on the other side of the street. He had to stop to let some cars pass and as he moved forward again, I saw something falling. I pulled my earphones out and called after him. Had to call him three times before he stopped and turned, so I pointed down as I was saying “you dropped something”, only then noticing it was a pair of glasses. When the guy noticed what I “wanted”, the annoyed look vanished from his face and he thanked me as I handed his glasses back to him.

    You have to know I was standing outside one of the main train stations here and there are a lot of homeless people that sleep in or close to it ….

    What I try to do, is approach everyone with the same openness. No judgment taken over from others and (trying hard but failing at times), no judgment based on visual input. I know I’ve been judged on my looks more often than not, so I try not to make the same mistake. It’s hard at times and I’m impatient too, especially at work. I have standards and I want everyone to meet them. Sometimes that’s not possible and I should probably just shut my clap and get my own act straight because I’ve only been with this department for a few months. I mess up pretty badly at times and yet I find myself passing judgment on others and on their work.

    I shouldn’t.

  3. John Simpson says:


  4. Lillian says:

    You made some really good points in this post.

  5. Linda Troy says:

    HI Lori, I was glad to meet you last Saturday at the No Kill Conference! Thanks for the awesome post! I have a good friend who also works in Over the Rhine at Wesley Chapel Mission Center, which runs an after-school program for children in the community, as well as a Saturday program for the children. They are always in need of after-school volunteers to help tutor the children–pretty easy actually–just hanging with the kids and following the direction of the staff in charge of the programs. Anyway, Wesley Chapel Mission Center is on McMicken–across the park from Music Hall. I am on the board at WCMC–their mission is near to my heart. More and more, my heart is being broken by the plight of the pitbulls. My request on the evaluation after the No Kill Conference is that those of us in attendance where given some aid in organizing to work together to make a difference for the kill shelters in the area and also the dog laws. Please keep me in mind if you hear anything about organizing, etc. Blessings to you! Linda

    • dogl2324 says:

      Hi Linda!

      Thank you so much for your support on here! Yes, I feel the same, it’s so good to hook up with other animal loving peeps! I know right where the mission center is on otr! I have to tell you that I am totally enraged by what I have learned about the plight of the pittie in the last year that I am ashamed to be a human being half the time! I will totally keep you in mind and if you do the same I would be very grateful! Thank you again for your kindness and support, it means a great deal!


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