go ahead…you know you want to…

Eating when I am not hungry. That has been a huge issue for me over my lengthy professional career of being obese. How many times have I eaten for one of the following reasons? (none of which have the slightest thing to do with hunger)

1.) It’s there –The sheer fact that something is within grabbing distance is NOT a good reason to eat it. I don’t just pick up a spool of yarn and start sewing because it’s there? God knows I don’t just randomly start vacuuming cause the vacuum is sitting in the corner grinning at me.

2.) I am bored- Oh, this is a big one for me…I live in a thriving city(humor me) , with parks, art museums, shopping, professional sports teams, many concert venues, volunteer opportunities, libraries, opera, symphony, live theatre, bike trails, dog parks. Hot Fudge is not a recreational activity.

3.) Everyone else is eating (insert any high caloric, delicious food) –well everyone else does not have the metabolism of a three toed sloth. I have found that social eating is a pitfall for me, it’s hard to not file it under the excuse of  “special occasion” and over eat. That is why the accountability and transparency is so important to me right now. When I go out, it has to be with people who know what I am doing and will be supportive in the fact that they know me making good decisions is expected and assumed.

4.) Sad, lonely, anxious, scared…the numbing effect of food- I have done this for so long that it is still very new to me to actually have to deal with the emotions I am feeling instead of dealing with a stomach ache after eating a dozen donuts thinking that gorging myself was the answer.

5.) Emptiness- I have separated this one out because for me it is the most powerful. Trying to fill the void with food was something I learned very very young. There is a song lyric that always sticks in my head when I think of this.”…I better learn how to starve the emptiness and feed the hunger” E.S
I have been listening to this song (watershed) since freshman year of college, I have tried for 20 years to figure out how to starve the emptiness… I feel closer now than I ever have before.

 

There are many reason I eat when I am  not hungry. I can tell you that for 27 days now, I have not binged, I have not overeaten and I have not eaten for any of the 5 reasons I listed above.  “when your learning to face the path at your pace every choice is worth your while”….-watershed-ES

 

 

 

 

 

4 Comments

  1. jessy says:

    this was such a great post lori! i think a lot of people are guilty of eating for the wrong reasons, many without being conscious of it! you are truly inspiring, not only for all that you give back to the rescue community, but for also being so honest and putting so much of yourself out there. <3

  2. Moody says:

    Beautiful!!

    I used to do that too.
    There’s always something on my computer desk and I just dig in. It doesn’t matter what really, as long as it’s there.

    Even now, I have a container on my desk.
    It’s not empty.
    It contains hazelnuts, covered in delicious chocolate, forming a nice little ball. It’s been sitting here, daring me, for weeks. I haven’t touched it!
    There was one thing I said I would finish and then be done with it, and that’s a small glass container, holding really sweet Marachino cherries (on heavy syrup, that’s what the label says). I usually put one (or a few) in my Safari (banana liquor) whenever I have one (once every third blue moon, if I feel like it) and I figured I might as well finish them before I have to throw them out. I’ve eaten a few …. the rest of them are waiting … (im)patiently …. on my desk. Right next to the (untouched) choccie nuts (lol).

    One of the biggest dangers for me (aside from nibbling all damn evening while I’m at my computer (I LIVE there)), is TV. Whenever I watch a movie, I just *have* to nibble! I have to, I can’t do without. So I don’t watch TV!! LOL.

    I’ve got loads of movies I should watch, but they’ll wait until I’ve found a way to ensure I don’t stuff a whole pack of chips into my mouth. Time is on my side.

    And on yours too!!
    Congrats on day 27!!!

  3. Jackie Matthews says:

    One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, even one second at a time. Just for today, you don’t need it! Congratulations on 27 days!

  4. Linda Troy says:

    Hugs and prayers for today!

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