doctor, doctor…

I want to say a few things right off the bat…

First, you don’t realize how much you need people until they save you. This whole project is not just about me at all, it’s about a community of people who have graciously decided to walk with me through the next year.  Thursday was hard but the support from everyone has been unbelievable. I am so grateful. I know I say that a lot but I don’t want to take anything for granted and I want to communicate that as much as possible!.

Last night, I was spent. I was having a hard time and felt like I was close to a migraine coming on. I decided not to post and to go to bed instead. My goal is to always post everyday but sometimes that is not going to be possible though it should  be rare!

Many people have sent me messages inquiring about my doctor. I thought I would share a little of my history and experience with doctors and then give  you the information regarding my own amazing, supportive, rock-star Doc.

From a very young age I feared the doctor. I think I can say with confidence I feared doctors much worse than other kids. Even though I did not know the word for it, I was taught to be ashamed of who I was well before I turned 10 years old. Two specific incidences scarred me for a life time. This is not easy to write about but I think it is so important to share and I hope others have not been through the same, although I have a feeling that sadly they have.

I was a junior in high school and my neighbor worked as a manager at the post office. I was looking for a summer job and he happily agreed to set me up with something at the post office. I was thrilled, my first “real” job! It was entry level and I just needed to get a physical as that was a standard company policy. I wanted to make a good impression and remember choosing what I would wear very carefully, picking out my best shoes and making sure my hair smelled nice. At the time I was probably around 450lbs….while I was nervous I was under the false pretense that this doctor would have to nice to me. My friend Scot went with me for support because he was my best friend and always by my side. This might be saddest part of the story…I don’t remember anything about the office, the details of what happened really…I remember his bitter words… “you disgust me”, “why are you wasting my time, you will be dead soon” and “how did you get like this?”…I remember being hysterical, running out, crying and I remember throwing up in the hallway. Thank god Scot was there with me, to help me get myself together. We walked out and I never looked back. I would avoid doctors for the next 10 years of my life.

I felt like I was not worthy of care. I was just young enough that I believed that doctor and what he told me and I didn’t want anyone else to tell me I was a waste of time. Much later I would find the first medical doctor who would treat me with respect and compassion. When I knew I could no longer avoid the doctor I called the hospital and ask the lady who answered who the nicest doctor was she knew on staff that was taking new patients. She said “Oh honey, have I got the perfect Dr. for you”….and she was right. Dr. Jessica Bocook (Bradt) would be the first doctor I did not fear. The first doctor who listened to me with an open heart and while never ignoring my weight, she could see past it and I received excellent care. It’s kind of funny I followed her around the area all the way to Maysville, Kentucky( about an hour and 20 minuets away) until she moved  last year to NC. I am proud to say we became friends and her impact on my life would prove to be enormous, as I now know I do not have to settle for anything less than being treated with respect, dignity and kindness.

A few years ago I got sick and we could not figure out what was wrong. I was having what I thought was reoccurring urinary tract infections. After months of antibiotics… I saw two male urologists and the second one was so bad, and so infuriating that  I eventually walked out of the office after being catheterized for the third time and the nurse saying to the doctor (like I was not even present) when I winced in pain….”I am surprised she can feel anything with all that fat”….. this time I was not 17 and I knew better and Jessica had taught me that I deserved better.  I walked out and on my way I told them both they should be ashamed of themselves and that I was reporting both of them.  I researched my symptoms and found a specialty pelvic pain center in Louisville Kentucky where I received stellar care by the whole team in that office, especially the nurse practitioner Alyce. She is the best! If you can laugh, and be relaxed and comfortable when someone is putting a garden hose up your who-ha, THAT is good care people!  I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis  and travel the hour and a half for my care dealing with my IC and I would not have it any other way. Again, when you find people that really care about you, it makes all the difference.

Because of Jessica and because of the care in Louisville I knew I needed to find someone special when Jessica moved out of state. I asked around and waited until someone in my life really loved their doctor. My friend Deb called me and said, I think I found a great doctor you will like. I was still scared, still apprehensive about just making an appointment and so I wrote a letter. I was honest and laid it all out there as to who I was, and what I was looking for in a doctor. I sent the letter and on the second day after I send the letter I had a phone message from Dr. Beiter telling me that I was welcome to come see her. I really do believe that the people in our lives come in when we need them and Dr. Beiter was no exception. She is the doctor that is meant to be with me on this journey. When I first met with her, she spent over an hour talking with me about my health history, my concerns and she just listened. Amazing right?! I knew I felt comfortable and was glad I found the practice but on Thursday when I got on that scale and had gained 4 lbs,  she knew just what to do…that sealed the deal! If you are 125lbs or 425lbs and  looking for an amazing doctor who is compassionate, kind, and thorough look no further! She has given me her blessing to post the contact information for her practice. I will post it at the end of this entry.

All of this to say, it is okay to seek out the right fit for you when you are looking for a medical doctor, to demand that they respect you and treat you in with dignity no matter what your size might be. It is okay to walk out and say no thank you! There are other doctors out there who will be happy to show you what being a real doctor is all about! Here is Dr. B’s info

Dr. Elizabeth A. Beiter

Mercy Medical Associates

7447 Wooster Pike

Cincinnati, OH 45227

513-271-3111

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 Comments

  1. Tina says:

    Wow, I don’t blame you for being scarred for life because of that doctor! That’s terrible!!! I’m so glad you found someone who you trusted and now have found a doctor just as great! We all deserve the same great care and respect! (random, but i remember you recommending me a great dentist! unfortunately, i still havent been due to lack of insurance! :o( )

  2. Jo says:

    I am not sure how I got to your blog. I was reading a news story on you and an hour later here I am! Your story is inspirational and amazing. People always tell me I see through rose colored glasses and put too much faith in people. I have to say in my 37 years I have been disappointed time and time again by peoples selfishness, rudeness and ignorance. It is so refreshing to find someone who is sincere, honest and caring. I know you are going to be successful at your weight loss and at helping the innocent dogs! I know I will be reading daily! I just want to yell “Go girl!”

    • dogl2324 says:

      Hi Jo!

      Thank you so much for stopping by and checking out my site/blog. I really appreciate your kind words and support and you following along! I need all the “Go Girl”s I can get!
      I understand what you are saying, I think part of why I started doing this was that what I saw when I was working with the dogs was so much pain and suffering and I was losing faith and challenged myself to ask what can I do? This is what I came up with! 🙂 Thank you for taking the time to read up on me and the sweet doggies!
      Lori

  3. Moody says:

    Gosh, Lori, I can’t believe they even had the nerve!!!
    Unfortunately, I know some people respect nothing.

    I had a similar (thankfully rather isolated) experience when I busted my knee now almost 2 years ago. I went to the emergency care, not knowing where else to take it because I was in so much pain. I could barely walk and each time I tried putting any weight on my leg, it just cut through me. I was eventually taken to see a doctor and when he came in, he gave me a long hard look, then started probing my leg, lifting it and twisting my foot while looking at a guy next door and chatting with him.
    I was gripping the sides of the bed in pain yet he just continued twisting my foot, causing more.
    He ended up putting my leg down and looked at me with that arrogant smug face of his and said “well, it’s not hard to figure out what caused this, it’s your weight”. He then proceeded to tell me I had to try biking “indoors of course, on a hometrainer” as if he thought the mere *idea* of going outside to put in any kind of physical activity might kill me on the spot, then continued saying I should “muscle that beef up a little” while he poked at my thigh.
    I was so enraged.
    I told him there was more muscle in there than he figured, because I played volleybal for 4 years, but he waved it away saying muscle died rapidly when you stopped practising and it was worse afterwards.

    I was only one step away from letting him *feel* the muscles in that “beef” of mine.

    I was fuming when I left and he only handed me a sick note for that day. He didn’t even bother giving me more.
    So I gutted my way to and through work the next day, getting on and off buses to get there and back and I was absolutely dying from the pain. So I went in to see my regular doctor that night, told her what had happened and let her have a look at my leg. She gave me a sick note for the rest of the week AND the next, telling me I should get more exams done because this wasn’t just something small.

    Later on, I found out the menisc was torn and I needed surgery.
    I was home for 2 months afterwards.
    So much for a one-day sick leave.

    I’m still munching over the possibilities of reporting that jerk to the board. I told my surgeon about it and he was pretty pissed off himself, saying that was not a way to treat people. “Besides,” he added, “your weight is *not* what caused this.” Sure, I should lose some kilos, but what that guy said was so far out of line he could hardly believe it.

    My biggest problems have always been with potential employers.
    But that’s a different story.

    • dogl2324 says:

      Yikes! A torn menisc, good lord what a jerk! I am sorry you had to go through that! It is the inability to look past the weight that I find unacceptable, even if it was because of your weight, should you be left in pain, made to feel worse because of it? Totally Unacceptable!

      L

  4. Lillian says:

    Some important information here.

    • dogl2324 says:

      Thank you Lillian, I thought it was an important topic to touch on. I want folks to know there are options for great care but sometimes you have to look! 🙂
      You are so good to me with your support and donations. I can’t tell you how much it meant to see the donation come through on Thursday after such a hard day. Means the world to me, please know that! On to the new week! Hope you have a great one!
      L

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