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it might as well be February…

One day of nasty, cold, dreary, dark, rainy weather and it might as well be February. I normally hit my wall in February, the long, cold winter takes its toll and February seems like it will never end. Today feels like February to me.  Why does today feel so awful? Is it the fact that so so many innocent animals lost their lives today because a human wanted to selfishly hoard wild animals that will never be meant to live in man made confides of cages, bars and crates. Is it the constant pounding of the rain that for some reason makes me incredibly sad, I am not sure why but this kind of rain memorizes me in the cruelest of ways.  Could it be I am taking on the energy of the people I served tonight so many people can’t or won’t even respond to you…if I say “Hi how are you doing tonight” the response is “Give me a coke, bourbon, don’t care that your an actual person talking to me, beer”…I get offended and I know I should not, because everyone has a story and I don’t know what is going on in anyone’s life. I smile and get whatever they want and hope in some way it gets better for them. Went to the gym to swim…and I swam mad, I am not sure what I was mad at but swimming while you are mad is no fun. Although much easier to get into the pool when you are cranky, I will say that…don’t care if you are looking at me, and I don’t care if you like it  but I do care if you take my water weights that I set out at the end of my lane. You look like you bend at the waist so get your own damn weights. (note: I did not actually say this to anyone out loud..just inside me head voice)

It’s dark when I get up and almost dark when I leave work….dark, dark, dark. Does anybody else feel like this. It’s not even about food, I am not inclined to go out and eat a cake, or anything, but it is an energy zapper for sure.  It’s rare I am like this and I thought about not writing it, but this is part of it. I got no sweet stories to tell tonight, I have no inspirational examples of strength or conquering a big fear. Tomorrow will be better, I am doing the best I can and that is enough.

Ohhh great the division rivals of the Cincinnati Reds (my fav team) the St Lois Cardnials just won game one of the 2011 Worls Series…

going. to. bed.

 

 

 

 

6 Comments

  1. Moody says:

    The water won’t feel hurt (or get hurt) if you pound at it in all your anger, rage or frustration (for whatever reason you are feeling them) and it will not “get back at you” for cutting through it. It will provide you with everything it always provides you with ….. and then some.
    As for whoever took your weights, you should “bomb” them next time you see them. If you take equipment you are going to use and set it at the end of the lane you’re swimming in, they should damn well get their own, or at least have the decency to ASK!!! As in “would you mind if I used these, I can’t seem to find any at this time” or “hey, could I borrow these for a few laps”.
    People are just so damn ignorant at times.

    I had a so/so day today.
    Some good, some bad and I don’t know what feeling overrules.
    I guess I understand your anger and frustration “just coz it’s there” and the bad things that happened to me today are siding with you.

    Tomorrow is another day.
    Tomorrow is Friday!!!
    Tomorrow means the weekend is near!!!!!

    YAY for tomorrow!!!!

    • dogl2324 says:

      Thanks Moody, you are so right and it’s almost Friday and yesterday is behind me and I must just keep looking ahead! Some good and some bad is better than all bad, right? You hang in there too and keep up the good fight, we will both kick the bad stuff right in the bum! 🙂
      L

  2. Jessica Krogman says:

    I sometimes have really good runs/workouts when I am angry/sad/frustrated. Take your frustration out on the lap pool. Cry while you swim if you want. Tomorrow is another day!

  3. tina says:

    Say it like it is!!
    It just means you’re normal! :). Keep on keepin on!!!! Grrrrrrr!!!!

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