Make it stop….
Friday I had to take my car in to be serviced. We all have experiences in these situations, shoved into a small room with a bunch of strangers waiting for the bad news of what is cracked, loose, broken, leaking, seized up, worn out, clogged, and ultimately the thing that blows up is your wallet.
I walked into the waiting room, it is almost completely full, all of the seats taken except for one lone chair. This chair was next to a table and on this table was a big white box with the lid slightly ajar, and in this white box is a mess of perfectly glorious doughnuts. Gooey,sticky sugary goodness…in my delusional mind a can see a chocolate iced long john wiggle out of the box and pat the chair welcoming me to come sit down. I reassure myself that soon they will be calling someones name to tell them their car is ready then I can move to another spot so I sit down in the chair next to the white box. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock…18 minuets later the door opens “Randy, you are all set”….I wanted to jump up in celebration but I controlled myself but boy Randy’s seat was still warm when I lunged at it and claimed my spot safely away from the smell, sight and reach of those damn doughnuts.
I wish this was the end of the story but like the saying goes no good deed goes unpunished. I am sitting quietly fiddling with my phone and listening to a daytime talk show about a boy who had cancer and had to have his foot put on backwards to save his life. ( I am not making this up, it was an incredible story) chairs have opened up and it is not quite as full as when I arrived. The door opens and she walks in, she was a tiny framed woman with a very very large mou…personality. Of course she picks the open seat right next to me. It really felt like a tornado was blowing through the room. I don’t know if I have ever seen someone dominate the room like that, but here is what I do know. ..what we ALL ended up knowing…
As she pulled a cushion out of her bag which she would tell the whole room is because just the day before was her colonoscopy that she gets every three months since her sister midge was diagnosed two years ago. I am not really sure what the correct response is to something like that but we all just had that shock and awe look on our faces and to say to you it was VERY descriptive is an understatement. I can only say that I would have bet a million dollars those of us in that room were all clinching our bottoms as she was giving us the blow by blow. What could possibly be worse than hearing all about that topic? You might think that it could not get any worse and my pounding head would have told you it could not have gotten any worse…wrong. Politics. I should have just left, I should have just gotten up and walked out but I was mesmerized by this woman’s ability to have absolutely no filter at all. …and if the truth be told, I was just too scared to leave. She gave us her point of view regarding everything from President Obama, the street car debate, to the”gays” which she had ALOT to say, and none of it was particularly good…but then she went on and on and on about how much she loved Ellen and she was disappointed because they changed her show time to 4pm since Oprah went off the air. .. well that’s going to be a hard day for her when she makes the connection with Ellen.
Tick tock, tick tock….finally my named we was called and you would have thought I won the lottery ..I got up so fast I think I pulled something. In the end I think the lesson I really learned is that sometimes doughnuts are not the worst thing in the room for you.