Getting old.

I am getting old. This became very clear to me last night. I was at a bar, it was hoping,  the music was blasting and I was with very fun, hip folks and just like my grandma who could not make it through the 11pm nightly news I was ready to go just before midnight. I am going to just write it off to a long week and hope for a longer duration next time! The beginning of the evening started meeting  my dear friend John to see an amazing play at the Know Theatre in Cincinnati, it was a great piece and I had a great time seeing the play with John, I always love his perspectives. After the play we went out to meet some of John’s friends at the local upscale bar. While I am not a heavy drinker by any stretch I have been know to have a few cocktails when going out. I enjoy bourbon (the whole Kentucky girl thing) and I don’t discriminate too much, I like it straight, on the rocks, with a splash,  but my favorite way is with ginger ale and a squeeze of fresh orange. I also know there are 69 calories in a ounce of bourbon, most bars go with a heavy pour on top shelf choices so I am looking at at least 2 ounces then add another 100 calories or so for the ginger ale. We are now up to about 240 calories for a drink….if I have two we are almost to 500…..just 40 more calories and it’s the same caloric intake as a Big Mac.

After I have a few cocktails that is when the very bad choices happen. The walls come down and my appetite shows up to the party. That is were the words “drive thru” enter the scene and visits to the Anchor Grill have been known to happen…now all I will say about that glorious landmark  greasy spoon is that their moto for like the last century has been “we may doze, but we never close”  they have almost any food item you want and they can serve it up in 10 minuets. You want breakfast, you got breakfast, you want pot roast you can get pot roast, you want peach pie a la mode , you got peach pie a la mode…totally horrifying, yet if your a little tanked going to the Anchor is a little like going to Disney world  for fat people.

All of this is whirling in my head when John asked the very simple question… “Lor, you want something to drink”….I kinda panicked, I mean the poor man did not ask me if I wanted him to open a central line so he could start the bourbon drip. Do I want something to drink?  Hmm Do I? Yes, of course I do! I want something to drink I have been soooo good, I want a reward and technically this is not a “FOOD” reward…right? RIGHT? I have had three drinks since I started this project…all three have been in a “safe” atmosphere…aka…not a bar and me pretty much making the person I am with sign a sworn affidavit that I have in fact said I would have ONE drink.  Then all thoughts about calories and food spun around in my head as if  it were stuck in the spin cycle. Then I breath in and really think about it….damn it…I see Tristan’s sweet face, Journey’s sweet face the terrified looks, the shelter, the dogs, all of those dogs,  that skin and bones dog they brought in with ticks the size of quarts that was killed the very next day, I see the leashes, the chain-link, the smell, the concrete, the cold, the dark damp last hours for these dogs. Well Lori what are you going to do?

I open my mouth and order a soda water with a splash of cranberry juice and a squeeze of lime… it is becoming clear to me that the scale really is just a number and I am making good choices for the right reasons. If the weight is not coming off as fast as I would like it to then that is too bad, because I have beat my body up for years and if I think this is going to come off at record pace I am kidding myself. I have to remember what Doc B said to me…”this is why people give up”….well I am not giving up it may take me the rest of my life but I will not give up on myself this time.

You should know that John drank water all night , now he will say he was not going to drink anyway and maybe that is true….doesn’t matter, I love him for it either way.

 

 

 

 

7 Comments

  1. Moody says:

    Can’t relate to the drinking/fast food thing, really, coz I’m not a drinker (my ex did all the drinking for the both of us) and I really can’t hold my liquor, but this weekend, I wanted a steak. For some reason, I was just craving a good old steak’n’fries (which is just about our national dish here in Belgium). I got the steak, I knew I had fries, I got some mushrooms and 5% cream to make a mushroom sauce with that. Then I stopped in the wine aisle. I picked a small bottle of rosé (I wouldn’t get a big one if my life depended on it, I’d never finish it anyways) and had 1 glass with my steak.
    There’s still half of that bottle left. It just had to go with the steak. It just had to happen. Don’t ask, I have no idea why. I just felt like it.
    I did make a point of taking the really skimmed cream (I never used to pay attention to that) and I didn’t have any mayo (which I used to have loads of). And you know what …. I didn’t even enjoy it!
    My sauce wasn’t the way I usually have it and the steak was nowhere near as tender as I would’ve liked. Bottom line: it wasn’t worth it.

    Tomorrow I’ll go for a swim and I’ll see if I can work that off again. No use dragging the “bad memory” around for too long.

    Duh!

  2. Tina says:

    bourbon drip, nice! LOL Proud of you Lori! That’s right, it is a slow progress, but keep at it!!!

    I had a set back last night…same situation. It’s been a couple months since I went out to the bars, so I went out to Mt. Adams, planning on eating a healthy dinner and maybe having a sugar free redbull vodka or two, then ending the night around 11pm (yeah, I’m old too!) But that’s not how my nights out usually go when I am in the mood to go out! and of course it didnt go as I was hoping it did. $100 and who knows how many thousands of calories later, I’m regretting last night!! I had redbull and vodkas, beer, steak and shake at 3am…and thanks to my sunday flu, today I soaked up teh alcohol with Gold Star!! 🙁 This made me pretty upset with myself. I lost control and gave in to wanting to have “fun”. Now I’m dead set on not doing this again. I want to be healthy 100% of the time. If I plan to drink, I’ll do so wisely and not go overboard….because just like you mentioned, when there’s alcohol, there is also fast food following that which just makes matters worse!! Ughhhhhhh

    Here’s to a lifetime of staying motivated and disciplined!!

    • dogl2324 says:

      Buddy, you are okay and you know it happens! The booze and the bad food are like a Ginger Rogers, Fred Astaire dance…one can’t happen without the other! I have made a promise to myself that when something goes into my mouth that I am not happy about I have promised myself the VERY next thing that goes into my mouth/body will be something healthy and good for me! I am always amazed the next day how I NEVER think it was worth it….always regret it. Tomorrow is a new day girl and you can totally do this! xo

  3. Bay says:

    Tristan would be very proud of you. I think you’re both very brave. **Virtual hug from Seattle**

  4. Shannon says:

    Wow! That IS progress. And that is strength! I don’t have trouble passing up alcohol, but substitute bourbon for just about any sugary concoction and I know exactly how you felt. Good for you!

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