chewing the fat…
I had a conversation with a woman awhile back about gastric by-pass and lap band procedures and not really by choice. This woman did not know me from adam but she felt the need to share with me her experiences in the grocery as I picked out asparagus, smelled oranges and tried to remember if I had enough oats left for another batch of granola. I guess I didn’t realize I had a flashing neon sign above my head that said “I am fat, fix me.”
Now I will say I think her intentions were good, and she in no way was hateful or mean quite the opposite in fact. She was convincing I will say that and very passionate, almost as if she were a pharmaceutical rep preaching fire and brimstone from a pulpit in the deep south. She told me it would change my life,and in detail she described the procedure and how her recovery went. The tiny bits of food she could eat and how often she ate and that her stomach could only hold a very small amount. She did lose some hair and her cousin who had the same surgery had some complications because “her lap band eroded inside her” and it had to be removed. I listened to this woman and her story reminding me again that she had lost 73 pounds after having the surgery less than a year ago. In the the end she said to me “so what do you think?” Honestly the thought of someone tying a bungee cord around my innards, loosing my hair and eating pureed food for the first weeks made me want to hurl. My eyes met hers and what came out was “I will certainly think about it.”
Think about it I did.. I came to one very simple conclusion about this type of surgery and how I personally feel about it for myself. (please know this is not a judgement on others at all)
It doesn’t fix the problem.
I overeat for a number of reasons, and I have been doing this for a very long time. I have had a toxic relationship with food most off my life. I have to figure it out, I am figuring it out and I want it to be on my terms and not by cutting the size of my stomach in half. I am going to take my chances on moving more, eating less and eating better… figuring out the hard stuff along the way by taking one step at a time with my eyes wide open, in the moment letting myself feel it all.