Big girls, they don’t cry….

Mom and I headed an hour north to Dayton Ohio to see “Jersey Boys” which is a musical about Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons, my mom loves it and I am always about doing things with her that will be memories for us both. We were also going to stop at one of our favorite restaurants in Yellow Springs called The Winds Cafe, if you are ever in the area GO…if you are in the Cincinnati area it is worth the drive to GO! We changed our plans because we did not want to leave the dogs alone that long especially when they are still not quite 100% better.

The show was great and my mom who will be 70 in May had a blast even shaking her booty at the end of the show a bit as the audience was up on it’s feet to “Oh what a night’.  As much as I try to ignore it, push it down and plead with my mind not to dwell on it, there are moments I realize that she is getting older and the time spent together is something I want to savor like really good chocolate or a brilliant sinking sunset that you will never see in just the same way again. I hold onto those moments, knowing the stakes are high in  game you can never win.

I went for a walk/run this morning, it was raining but in some weird way I really liked it. There is something soothing about the rain when it is just a soft drizzle, the rain seemed to set the pace, there was a cadence that appeared with the pounding rhythm, it seemed as though it was playing just for me. I was very grateful, and it was very emotional for some reason I think I am just so so happy that I am doing well, that I feel different and that my body is slowly changing. I am slowly changing, this realization brought the tears.  Big girls….they do cry, just ask the guy in the park who stopped to make sure I was okay.

Today food was an interesting mix of crazy healthy that started my day, oatmeal with fruit and a little almond milk and then before we left for the show I had an apple an a 2 tablespoons of almond butter. When we left the show I asked my mom if she would like to stop somewhere quick to get something to eat. I suggested “Dixie Chili” because it is one of her favorite places. Cincinnati chili is a crazy concoction if you don’t know what it is check out the link. I didn’t want to disappoint  her but I also did not want to make a bad choice. I thought what am I going to do? Then as if someone held flashing lights over the head of a small girl walking down the street with her even smaller brother, it hit me. The kids menu! I ordered off the kids menu and it worked. I had a very small portion of a 3way. Enjoying just a little of a food is a real treat when you have not had it in a long time and you really enjoy  the portion you have instead of gluttonously eating a huge helping.

As mom and I ate and laughed and talked about what a fun time we had at the show, sharing that meal was the right choice. When I finish eating my mom looked at me and said “I am proud of you”.  I am really learning how to do this thing, little by little I am learning how to live again free from being a prisoner to food.

We heard a song in the show today, and it is stuck in my head…and my heart.

 

“I walked the straight and narrow,
To reach my goal.
God’s gift sent from above,
A real unselfish love,
I found in my mother’s eyes”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 Comments

  1. Shane says:

    Love this blog post Lori! I enjoy times like this with my mom too. However, as a non-native Cincinnatian, I still have yet to figure out the love for Cincy Chili. So not chili in my opinon but alas, my husband loves it and we go to SkyLine from time to time.

    Keep up the journey! It is tough but well worth it.

  2. janet says:

    “I hold onto those moments, knowing the stakes are high in a game you can never win.”

    A touching sentiment, but I disagree. Clearly, you are winning. Recognizing your gifts and embracing your life each day is winning. Keep making memories, and continue to enjoy the journey.

    • dogl2324 says:

      Hi Janet,

      “I hold onto those moments, knowing the stakes are high in a game you can never win.”

      That statement is actually about growing old and not being able to stop time…that is the game you can never win 🙂

      I agree it is about making those memories and continuing to enjoy the journey! This journey has given me more than I ever thought possible. Just to know people read, and care and write words of encouragement is a huge gift…so thank you!

      L

      • janet says:

        I know what you intended, and I understand. 🙂 But every reader brings their bias, and mine is that my mom can only look back. She looses because her joy is only in her past. I’m so glad that you and your mom can find joy together, in the moment. The cycle of life is not a battle to be lost, in my opinion. Cuz then you are setting yourself up for inevitable failure. But you know that – I’m just being philosophical.
        It all boils down to “appreciate what you got while you have it.” Cheers!

        • dogl2324 says:

          I understand and everyone’s experiences are different. My time watching my Dad slowly die with alzheimer’s for years affects how I view growing old and the fears I have surrounding that with my mother. I agree, and in the end I appreciate every minuet I spend with her and I am grateful! 🙂 Hope you are having a good day!

  3. Veronica says:

    Spending time with your mom or any family member is time well spent. I’m really glad you both get along so well and enjoy each other so much. She has been and will always be in the front row of your fan club. I like sitting next to her and cheering you on!

  4. John S. says:

    Sounds like you had a great day. We are all proud of you. Yay Gooch!

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