Pulling my head out from under the bed.
It’s funny how you can get motivation or learn life lessons from the oddest places, people, words, pictures, songs, it never ceases to amaze me what can affect you or guide you from moment to moment.
I feel like I am in a bit of a funk the last few weeks, wind is calm in my sails and while I have done nothing bad, I also have not pushed myself like I know I can. The stress with my job is not ideal and it is not going to get better so I have two options. I can use it as an excuse or I can move forward just one step and make a plan. A plan that will not let me blindly step into the manhole with the cover off to the side, like I have done every year when we go into our busiest time of the year at work. The treats are magnified a million times over (or so it seems) there is less time to leave during the day to get a walk in and it becomes oh, so easy to over eat, indulge and make bad choices that I know can send me down a road I am not going down again.
I was talking to my friend Sarah this morning who reminded me that I have to call and reach out, I have to give myself the tool that I set up. Why is it so hard to ask for help, why do I feel like it’s a bother, a burden to call up a trusted friend and tell them I have a king sized butterfinger bar unwrapped and I am ready to pull the trigger on making a very bad choice. I have to be real with myself, I have put it all out there ,told secrets on here that I had kept hidden in shame, put up pictures of my arms, my world wide weight is advertised on the world wide web, so I need to stop kidding myself and ask for the help if I need it. I can’t keep my head buried and ignore this, not if I am going to keep moving forward and that is non negotiable for me. So friends on my list get ready, it’s gonna be a “reach out and touch someone” next few months.
So what brought this on? This morning Shannon posted a picture I had sent her of Tristan not long after he arrived last year. Here is the picture.
I had forgotten I took it and sent it to her. This is how Tristan spent most of his time when he first arrived at my house, he was to scared to look at me, to scared to deal with the change that was happening to him. I don’t want to hide from the change that is happening to me. I am almost half way there, even if I don’t hit the 50lbs lost by March 1st, I will be close, and I still have done a good job through the winter. I need to refocus, have my head and heart in the game going forward and remember yet again how Tristan is such an inspiration as I look at how far he has come in one year…