Marching band, icy hot and Billy Blanks I am not.

Okay so if anyone reading has ever marched in band during their high school days this is going to make complete sense, and for the rest of you…you’ll get the gist.

Remember when you were learning drill for marching band, which are the calculated steps, turns, stops, pivots, and special moves to put on a show during halftime at high school football games where most of the  audience leaves to get in line for Coke slurpees and Reese cups. Learning the drill was generally doing it over and over memorizing  the whole contorted mess by going the wrong way, making the wrong turns, high mark time, low mark time, hitting your hash marks correctly (or not) and inevitable plowing into someone cause you chose to go the wrong way. Cardio kickboxing is kinda like if marching band and kickball had a love child….with a severe case of attention deficit disorder thrown in the mix.

Tonight’s cardio kickboxing class was very much like the time I got the flu and missed most of band camp and then tried to “slide” in unnoticed with the rest of the marchers toward the end of the week not  knowing what the sam hell was going on from one moment to the next. Simply trying to keep up, not fall over or run into someone. Yep, VERY much like tonight’s class. As I type this I have icy hot on my knees and an ice pack on my back. At one point Lindsey looked at me with a very sweet uplifting smile of encouragement on her face and asked the following, “sooo how do you like it?” as we were sucking down water in one of the ….well the ONE 30 second break we got. Glaring at her with the sweat running down my flushed red face, I respond…”Not talking to you right now!.” Of course I was kidding her and gave her a wink as we started up our kicks, punches, and other moves I can’t even remember the names of at this point. Did I mention I ate my dinner cold, I was too tired and sore to heat up my turkey burger…really not that bad cold at all, tasty really, compared to the agony of moving.

Oh what I wouldn’t give to have a recording of tonight’s class, I am telling you if Jess had not been in front of me I would have just stood there punching the air, swaying and smiling all class. People would have swore Rainman was in the house for kickboxing. Jess was really good at it all, as was Lindsey but she was to my right and unless we pivoted to the right, I could not see her. No see, no help that is just how this class worked tonight. The instructor was mesmerizing and to be honest I would put money on her any day that she could kick the ever loving heck out of someone she met in a dark alley! It was amazing watching her, which I really should have done less of as I almost mowed over the guy to my left twice not paying attention to our “double slides” ugghh, hurts just saying the words. Punch, punch, kick, kick turn and uppercut and back kick and jumping jacks and 8 more, a little faster this time, now weave, weave and kick, kick, kick,  and SWEET EVER-LOVING  JESUS I am lost in the tumble dry cycle of all these commands! In the end, and yes it did come to an end eventually but I am telling you that I would have swore we were half way done and when I looked up at the clock… SEVEN minutes had passed, SEVEN MINUTES! Anyway, in the end I was very proud that I stayed the whole time, kept moving (wrong directions still burn calories folks!) and know next time I will be better at it and it will get easier. It really could not get  any worse unless somehow they worked in skull crushers and running with that blessed weight above my head! Yes, there will be a next time, the girls and I have decided we will try all the classes and see which ones we like the most. Up next is zumba, yoga and water aerobics….I can’t wait till we are all in the pool with our noodles! Life is good.



  1. Moody says:

    That was a very funny read, Lori, despite the pain I know you must’ve felt at the end … but hey, you GOT to the end!!!!!
    Way to go!!
    You’re really (pun intended) kicking this shit!

    Kickboxing is unfortunately something I won’t be able to do, nor any other exercice that requires lots of turns, pivots, weight changes and dips. My knees would give out on me in a heartbeat and I would *not* walk home after it. I’d probably be wheeled off to hospital.

    As for Zumba, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.
    A few of my colleagues do it and they’re really loving it. But they’re the skinny, dancing kind of folks, so that goes without saying. Oh and they’re both Spanish, they have those moves in their genes.

    I hope you’ll find the right class, the one that gives you the most satisfaction and the biggest fun doing it. And honestly, this sounded like it was LOADS of fun …. okay, well, maybe a little less fun for the guy on your left. LOL.

    Keep up the good work!!

  2. Aaren says:

    This made me chuckle – I totally remember learning drill in HS marching band! P.S. I did the Zumba game that I have for xbox 360 and it was really fun!

  3. John S. says:

    Upbeat and inspiring. Noodles!

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