Off the rack….
Making my way through traffic this morning on my way to the weigh- in I was feeling great, I was sure the scale would be a major drop, I have been running like a fool, I feel strong, by body is changing and I feel it, never before have I walked with such confidence looking at the world all around me square in the eye with a smile on my face.
The numbers flash and settle on 323…. you have got to be kidding me! ONE POUND??? I lost ONE pound, for all the hard work I have done the past two weeks. I stayed upset for about 5 seconds. Nothing has changed, I still feel great I am still doing great and I know all the reasons now as to why the number moves the way it does. I am so much stronger, my legs are building muscle faster than any other part on my body, I can feel it and I can see it. It’s not just an excuse it is the truth. I know this now, where I doubted it in the beginning despite being told that over and over by people I love and trust. I thought it was a bullshit excuse. I have learned it is not.
My day goes on and I am in the market for a new sports bra and I need some running shorts that I am not swimming in to be more comfortable. Nothing screams hot-mess on the treadmill like someone digging at their shorts cause they are too big while they are trying to get their run on! I am at a regular store, not a fat store, not a we only sell “big and tall” clothes. I am at Target. I purchase two items of clothing.
#1.) A sports bra in the size XL and….wait for it…..IT FITS!!!!! I am wearing an XL in SOMETHING!!!! I love it, and I put it on and want to wear it all the time, even for non sporty things. The girls look much better in an XL, THAT is for sure!
#2.) I new pair of running shorts, now granted they were in the men’s department, and yes they are a XXL but that is okay with me (for now) because I could NEVER buy something like that and have it be loose and comfortable. I bet I could have squeezed into a XL pair but just like the too big ones, no one wants to see you digging at your britches cause they are too small! The XL will come, I am not far away at all!
I will give you some perspective, when I started in September I wore a 4-5XL in big men’s shorts that I would only be able to order off the internet. When I was my largest and over 600lbs my clothes were mail order (no internet back then) but the catalog would come in the mail and I would pick out the things that looked less like men’s clothes. The size I wore then was 7-8XL.
I got to thinking that the one pound loss is just as important as the five pound losses because it’s part of the big picture so to speak. The reason people give up is that it does not happen fast enough for them, we are a society that wants instant gratification and extreme makeovers the biggest loser style and that is just not reality. I will take the hard way home, I will walk through the puddles instead of jumping over them and I will wear my new sports bra and shorts everyday for a week if I want to because it’s my story moving at my pace and it feels great!
We are almost to the end of dog-lbs (phase one), and I know it’s just a pound but it means a lot to me and I hope to you as well. I am going to ask that you help out some sweet dogs sitting on death row waiting for their own happy ending….
<3 Much Love, Lori