One year later…the journey is the destination.
Is it the journey or arriving at the destination that becomes most important? It is the journey, for me it will always be the journey.
One year ago today I thought that losing 100lbs in a year would be a piece of proverbial cake, so to speak. We hear of people that do it all the time, and as someone who used to weigh over 600lbs I have lost a very large amount of weight through the years, though never in the unique way I have done it over the last several months. Never before looking at my destructive and toxic past and asking why, then figuring out a different way. The brevity of this project has uprooted me like an old tree growing in the comfort of a lush forest brought to my knees by the violent storms of my own reality. Without the journey ghosts still haunt, old habits still rule my kingdom and the idea of actually loving myself would never come to fruition. I look back at the remains with much respect, for without them I would be someone else, but I stand here today proud of who I am.
My reflection of the last year is beyond overwhelming, sometimes beyond comprehension and the only refuge I have is to sink into the ground of fresh soil I have found which has supported me and led me to the place I currently stand. I think about where this journey has taken me, the winding dark paths, crossing into the light and while the shadows have loomed at times there has always been a hand to hold to lead me again in the direction I am meant to walk. Try as I may there are no words to capture just how amazing this part of the project has been. A thousand thank yous seems insignificant to say the least. Every single person who has helped me along the way knows the part they played in this orchestrated dance of wills, and you simply must know that without you all I would not be at this place today, I am forever grateful.
To Lindsey, who has given so much of her time and amazing talents teaching me what it means to work hard, respect myself and hold my head up high never doubting that I will get there even if the road is hard and the mountain seems unbearable to face, you have changed my life with your friendship, humor, compassion, kindness and willingness to walk next to me down this road of discovering what it takes to transform my body and let go of the shame that for so long defined me.
I am not done, my work is not done, and my story is not over. The dog-lbs project is not going anywhere, there are more dogs to save and I have more weight to lose and many more adventures to write about. Lindsey is on board to keep going (god help her) and we have some fun stuff we are going to add into our bag of workout tricks, that involve you all!
I look forward to stepping on the scale with Dr. B by my side on Tuesday and reporting the final number to you and announcing the plans we have as I get ready to take on another year learning as I go, how to let go of the past and walk proudly in my new found skin.
I made an attempt to put together a short video of some of the images and people who came along for the ride. It’s not the best video ever made but somehow I think you will get the picture. 🙂
Much love and so much gratefulness for it all-