Two dogs, a blacksmith and a police officer walk into a bar…

It could be the start of a fabulous joke, but it is actually the beginning of my fabulous weekend. Lindsey and I made a plan to meet at her place at 11:00 am Saturday morning, load up our bikes and go for a long beautiful  ride on the historic Loveland Bike Trail. On my way to her house red brake lights piled up exactly at the one mile marker to Lindsey’s exit which made me about 5 minuets late. I texted  while stopped to let her know I was going to be a few minutes late when I heard no response from her, I thought it was odd.

I pull up her driveway to no sign of the light blue CRV that is always parked in the same spot, and when I went to  knock on the door, I was not greeted with the big boisterous bark of the dogs, not Hannah, not Oscar, odd. I tried to call her cell phone, no answer, odd. I told myself I bet she took the dogs  to the park for a quick walk or run.  I settled back into my car and caught up on some games of “words with friends” and as time passed it occurred to me as I sat there pondering how in the world  Kate was allowed to use the word “twat” on her last turn, that it must be 11:30 by now…. I glanced at the clock on my dash and it read 11:32, odd.

As I am starting to get worried and strategizing a plan, I see the car pulling up the driveway  in my rear-view mirror, only it’s not the blue CRV it’s  a police cruiser with Linds and her clearly not too happy face behind the restraint bars in the backseat. She appears at my car window,  mud caked below the waist and two dogs with her that clearly are in the dog house. I open my car door to get out and see what has happen, I barely get one leg out and  a desperate Oscar smushes his giant dog body into the floor of the car, from there he  squeezes over to the drivers seat and Hannah makes a b-line for the back seat hoping for the best. By looks on both of their pitiful faces it became very clear to me that they were the culprits of whatever had happened.

Please Aunt Lori, take us with you!


What did happen you might be wondering.  The story goes something like this…


Lindsey thought it would be good to take her dogs for a little walk, maybe a run at the park we do our trail running at sometimes. As they were on the trail, in the woods heading deeper into the tree lined forest Hannah got a whiff of something….something that smelled of raccoon!? Off she went (now Hannah is an honorary member of the BGC -Big Girls Club) and she can whip Linds around like an overcooked linguini noodle without much effort. Add Oscar to the mix who is a big boy himself and all about following his sister in high pursuit of the critter… or pinecone that fell off a tree….we really don’t why she ran, but boy she ran!  Linds was faced with a choice she could either be pulled down the steep hill by two powerful dogs and end up face surfing  along the twigs and rocks, glasses surly cracked with a few teeth or bones as she would hit trees,  limbs and rocks  along the way, or she could let go of the leashes. Must not have seemed like a good day to get an abrasive facial scrub compliments of mother nature, so she let go. Then of course went running like a wild banshee after them down into the depths of an area that looked like something out of a national geographic magazine. She finally got the dogs, and while I don’t think she was too happy with them, it would not be until she made her way back up the hill, through the trees across the creek and up up up to the paved trail out to the parking lot with the squish of her caked on muddy britches that her day would go from bad to one big, steaming pile of pooh hot mess!

She had her dogs, the woods had her keys.

They fell out when she was tracking the dogs through the woods, she bit the dust (ouch) at some point and maybe that was where she lost them.

I played it cool, I felt like Linds has been my solid ground so many times before surely we could find a pair of keys in the woods. We peeled Oscar and Hannah who were clinging for dear life in my car, set them up in the backyard and I drove back to the scene of the crime.  Lindsey is convinced we will not find the keys and calls AAA for assistance, I  hear her ask for a blacksmith, I think to myself a BLACKSMITH? Did she ride a horse to the park  that I don’t know about? The word can out of her mouth again, asking the AAA rep how much a blacksmith would cost. It hits me and I look over and mouth the words ‘LOCK-SMITH” to her, at least  she smiled which was the first one I had seen since she pulled up with the po po in the back of the cruiser.

The keys were small, 3 keys on the ring, her Urban Active membership fob and some yellow do-hicky, which helped nothing because it’s fall and EVERYTHING looks like nature peed on it in that exact shade of yellow.

We walk the trail till we reach the scene of the crime. “Over here, Lindsey says…”, I look to my left, this is what I see….



Okay, this is not what I actually saw but it looked awfully steep to me. Then I remember all the times Linds met me at the gym, ungodly early hours to walk with me, (I take one step down off the paved road) how many times I called her crying hysterical before a weigh-in, ( I take another step down) …we WILL find these damn keys. I clung from tree to tree and found a walking stick, as I got  a little more comfortable the further down we went, keeping my eyes peeled for anything that looked like keys, I did not find the keys but what I did find was two water bottles, a Nike headband, a trojan ribbed condom wrapper (ewww) and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch wrapper (mmm). At first Linds and I stuck together but then she made a descent down to the depths of where she fell. I thought about going down there with her,  but decided  the easiest responsible thing for me to do was be closer to the top should I need to go for help. I kinda liked the hiking around bits, I tried to be smart about things when I reached a place where there were all kinds of spider webs I decided Bear Grylls would say that I was in the wrong area because the dogs would have blown through those webs as they were running, so I began to move down and to the west (now I don’t REALLY know that to be accurate but according to my theory on direction, which is find north and then goes clockwise reciting “(N)ever, (E)at, (S)oggy, (W)einers” I was definitely  headed west.

Out of nowhere I hear a screech then a scream, either Linds was being abducted or she found the keys, seconds later I see her bolting up through the trees with a big smile on her face as she waved the keys like a winning lottery ticket in the air. Whew! As we walked up the hill I gave her my cell phone and told her to call and cancel the blacksmith. She shot me that “you’re such a smartass look”. We cancelled AAA and headed out for brunch, we both deserved a good meal and a hot cup of coffee for our efforts …In the end we could laugh about it, because Hannah, Oscar and Linds were all safe and sound, the keys were returned, the blacksmith cancelled, and lets face it, how cool is it to ride in the back of a police cruiser without handcuffs on!

We did not get our bike ride in on Saturday, but this morning I picked Lindsey up for our “do-over” bike ride and it was glorious….I am going to post some pictures that will tell the story of our 11 mile bike ride.

This is the Loveland Bike Trail....stunningly beautiful.



Even after 11 miles, the beauty keep flying toward me and washing over everything.


Linds on the open she left her keys at home!


Makes me feel like a kid again....on my Pink Huffy!



Today was a much better day for Oscar and Hannah.....


and sweet Lindsey too!


The ride was beautiful, the colors swirling, dancing around us as the wheels spin on. This place, which holds such good memories for me of the one I miss so, so much. This path, which I walk with faith knowing it will set me free. This journey that has become the seasons of my life.






  1. moody says:

    You sure got your exercice in this weekend!!
    Way to go and YAY to the ride in the back of a black-and-white without the handcuffs on!!!
    I did that too once, after my ex had bumped (it really wasn’t much more than that) another car at a traffic light (guy ahead did a start/stop maneuver just to piss my ex off and since he was juuuuuuust a liiiiiiitle drunk (still), his reaction was slower than the guy’s and he tapped the bumper). The guy called the cops coz he could smell the beer breath (who couldn’t) and when the cops got there, the “field breathalizer) showed a “P” for positive, so he had to go to the station to get the full breathalizer test. Riding in the back, we were “part” of 2 interventions (YAYYYY!!!). The first one was pulling over some lady who had just ran a red light, right under the cops’ nose. The other wasn’t really an “intervention”, but there was a lot of traffic (despite it being 11pm or so) and the cops decided on a shortcut going down the wrong way, with lights and sirens ablaze to let people know they were coming. I was w00ting my head off in the back seat.

    Anyways, you’ve had your fun AND your workout and Lindsey had a ride to remember.

    Kudos to both!!


    • dogl2324 says:

      I sure did get the workout in last weekend! Whew! It was all fun (even hiking around for those keys!) Wow, that sounds like a crazy adventure in the back of the cruiser for sure!!! 🙂

  2. Edie Poe says:

    Wow! What a adventures day that was! I was reading this like it was a short story! You are so awesome Lori and such great friend to do what you did! You are looking great by the way!. Keep up the great work! With hugs out to you!

  3. Kellie H says:

    OMG the funniest thing I have read in a while.. LMAO!!!!

    • dogl2324 says:

      Thank Kellie, it was funny because we found those dang keys, I have a feeling it would have been a different post without them! 😉

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