On the eve of a new year…
Today flipping through the channels on a lazy afternoon, I was stunned at the number of commercials promising weight loss in every shape and form possible. One after the other in a weight loss propaganda assault firing promises of flexi-bend machines, food delivery systems, hypnosis, and even one promise that if you sprinkled a powder over your food magically you would lose weight. Now unless the magic powder is cocaine which for the record I do not recommend as a weight loss plan, I am pretty sure most of these deals made with the devil are sheer shenanigans. I get it…skinny sell.
I sit here writing this not because I am above the quick fix mentality that our society is eager to consume in one snack sized gulp. I am very much aware of the sparkly prize that might await if you just pop the pill, secure your lap band, eat this, drink that, buy, order, use, call, click, and believe in anything but yourself to get the job done. I have spent a good part of my adult life wanting someone or something else to magically fix the parts of me that I desperately wanted to change. It was not until this past year that I have learned why a quick fix will never really work.
Running down Pete Rose Way seeing the finish line to the Flying Pig 5k in May with Charmaine, Jessica, and Lindsey by my side. Unstoppable tears and sweat creating a blurry chaotic sweet image of friends, family and complete strangers cheering me on to finish, my searching eyes find my Mom’s face in the crowd thinking of my Dad helped guide me along to cross over the thick white line of satisfaction. This was not achieved from taking a pill, sprinkling powder on my food or relying on only eating prepackaged food delivered to my door. We often try with all our might to fit into the ridged box we draw in the perfect world created in our minds. Change is so very hard, we struggle and we fail but we also succeed and it takes time to figure it all out. Why is it such a battle to give the same compassion and kindness we willing give to others to ourselves? I struggle and I see others around me struggle, perhaps in the coming year we can all struggle a bit less.
My hope for the New Year for myself and for all is to simply give ourselves the gift of patience, understanding and kindness. Last year I stopped beating myself up so bad, loosening my grip on the choke hold of judgement and self loathing. Learning that it is in the smallest of actions and experiences that life becomes living and leaving your mark by changing the world around you is not savored when the disdain you have for yourself impairs you from tasting the sweetness of it all. As I get older the time goes faster and in a desperate attempt to stop it I find myself impatient, frustrated and sometimes just hateful. I will try in the new year to be more patient, more understanding and kinder with myself, with my family and my friends. May 2013 be filled with many good things and amazing memories for us all! Resist the urge to order anything from the TV until at least June!