Spare tire bits on a bun…

So the whole idea of not eating meat is celebrating ingredients that are not meat. I have realized the hard way that if you are not eating meat don’t try to eat items that attempt to imitate meat through over-salted, pressed soy product mushed into a dog, link, nugget, strip and for the love of God nothing that wants to be a chicken patty.

I was planning food and shopping on Sunday after a very stressful week behind me. My check engine light came on in the car, my cat Chance got sick (he is fine now), making sure Eddy  recovered from his neuter surgery, and finally getting on the scale yesterday only to see that all my work only proved a 3lb weight loss (the number on that scale still holds such power), I felt the pull to go to a bad place but I changed my attitude and became very thankful for the great things that had happened in my world. My foster dog Eddy Arnold found a wonderful forever home, I got to celebrate Bob’s birthday by cooking for him on a beautiful cool sunny day and no one in my life is in danger of flood waters, and devastation that so many in Colorado are facing.

I did my menu planning and loaded my fridge with veggies and fruits, homemade granola, yogurt, sweet potatoes, ingredients to make pad thai and a batch of homemade beans, whole wheat tortillas, avocados, oats, quinoa and some dark chocolate and good, good coffee. I was in the organic area of our local healthy type grocery store getting frozen shelled edemame and that is when the not chicken, chicken patties gave me a wink and a smile. Hmm they looked good on the box (I will not name the brand but it rhymes with “polka”) , and the picture reminded me of the chicken patties that were served in my high school cafeteria on Tuesdays each week, slapped on a white doughy bun with fries, canned corn, cookies and chocolate milk (because that is not a carb orgy or anything) but I do remember them being pretty dang tasty. It seemed quick and easy and I would be okay if that was the only thing I got that was pre made, so I tossed them in my cart and forgot about them for the most part…. until last night.

I got home from work and was rushing in order to get over to a friend’s house before 7:30 and thought I would try one of the not chicken, chicken patties. I took the time to defrost the patty and then fire up the toaster oven hoping to get a crispy delicious experience. An organic (though way to expensive) whole wheat bun was waiting with heirloom tomato, fresh baby spinach and a thin slice of apple wood cheddar cheese…. this is going to be so good. I put the golden disc on my bun with a few carrot strips, edemame with sea salt on the side and sat at the table. Just like the smiling people in the McDonald’s commercials who hold the layered perfect looking burger out in front of them then slowly move it up to take a bite with gleeful anticipation.  I sunk my mouth into that bun for  what was sure to be a …. UGH…spitting it out, I am spitting it out (and I never spit things out!) OH MY GOD, what IS that made out of? Spare tire parts and yeast? Holy God! I could not recreate that awful texture if I TRIED. I just kept thinking what a waste of an heirloom tomato.

If you give up meat, give it up people, nothing good can come from ideas of grandeur that if it is  round and rolls it must be  the grand poobah of fake food. I would rather eat a chia pet, and I am not kidding. Good thing the rest of my week was filled with some pretty amazing eats to drowned out the nightmare of the not chicken, chicken patty…the following pics are a true celebration of my vegetarian eating…..

 

Vietnamese lunch at Pho Lang Thang in Cincinnati  with Jonesy! We both had the Bun Chay ( with crispy tofu that is seriously amazing!)

Vietnamese lunch at Pho Lang Thang in Cincinnati with Jonesy! We both had the Bun Chay so good…

 

 

Birthday Bob at his celebration brunch. Nothing better than cooking for those I love. The menu included a leek, goat cheese and shitake frittata, poached salmon cakes, maple/bourbon/chipotle brushed bacon, cranberry and orange scones... no I did not eat the any meat even though I cooked it.

Birthday Bob at his celebration brunch. Nothing better than cooking for those I love. The menu included a leek, goat cheese and shitake frittata, cranberry and orange scones, fresh fruit. Bob loves salmon so I poached some fresh salmon from the fish monger at the local market then made that into crispy cakes with a lemon, caper and shallot yogurt to finish. No, I did not eat any meat even though I cooked it.

 

 

Sometimes you just have to ask if there are not many vegetarian options on menus when you dine out. I asked if the chef could make the fish tacos without fish... this is what I got! What!? So good.

Sometimes you just have to ask if you find there are not many vegetarian options on a menu when you dine out. I asked if the chef could make the fish tacos without fish… this is what I got! What!? So good.

 

 

This was my dinner tonight... crispy baked zucchini with lemon goat cheese and a small yukon potato with salsa and greek yogurt.

This was my dinner tonight… crispy baked zucchini with lemon goat cheese and a small yukon potato with salsa and greek yogurt.

 

 

 

Sweetest thing around...a goodbye cuddle from Eddy Arnold on his adoption day! He went to an amazing family! Have a good life lil man!

Sweetest thing around…a cuddle from Eddy Arnold on his adoption day! He went to an amazing family! Have a good life lil man!

 

Three pounds is a start, and I am looking ahead to the rest of the week making good choices and moving more! Next blog post is going to have a challenge that we can do together….stay tuned!

 

Xx

L

 

 

 

1 Comment

  1. JohnS. says:

    The Vegetarian Monologues continue on a positive path. I love what you do…so inspiring. Thanks!

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