The fly by…day one.
Nope, still here. I promise!
My birthday came and went at the beginning of June and I was feeling pretty good. Having worked hard for the wedding I was in toward the middle of April, I made a mistake, a mis-step, and I knew better.
The birthday celebration turned into a month long big food distraction. Literally the month flew by and at the end of it I felt awful. Each year the stress of the opera season somehow gets worse for me, and the amount of food that is strategically placed around the office is mind blowing. In a 2 hour period one day last week I had available and seductively advertised to me, bagels with cream cheeses, donuts, brownies, and leftover cake. This was all before lunch, BEFORE LUNCH PEOPLE!
I am a strong woman but St. Lori I am not (in so, so many ways!) Actually that particular day I did not eat any of those things but it took me barking my intentions of what I was not eating to Scott every 30 minutes, the guy seriously deserves a damn congressional medal of armor for dealing with my battle of the bulge.
I would be lying if I said it was just the food, it’s far from it. The stress combined with no time to exercise, no routine, no time to write, and no time to foster for Recycled Doggies is a pretty toxic mix for me. My problems may seem small, and in the reality of much bigger hardships people face each day, I am almost embarrassed to talk about it. Almost… and I say that because it has the potential to drag me back into a very bad place pretty quickly. I decided I have to do what I need to do in order to make it through the rest of the crazy season. The next twenty five days will go do fast for me, if I can get my shit together, focus and make good decisions I can come out the other end feeling good about working hard and getting myself ready to move forward and not have July knock me to my knees.
Tomorrow starts 25 days in a row with no day off; I finish up on August 2nd. I have two choices; do what I did the month of June which is not an option for me. The second choice is to suck it up and find a way to post each day and write about the choices I have made. I don’t have to be perfect but I have to be present and in the moments when it matters make good decisions… will I shove two donuts in my mouth when no one is looking or will I split one donut with Lauren and enjoy that portion knowing I did not use my nemeses of “stress shoveling” to deal with (insert any one of the many emotional discomforts here) but actually be able to taste and enjoy what I have decided to eat.
I hate starting this stuff on a Monday so I started today. Being prepared is what it’s all about, so I cooked some brown rice, poaches some chicken/sauteed a ton of veggie for lunches and made oatmeal bars with lots of healthy things in them and no refined sugar, cut up fruit, portioned out dates and dried apricots for my sweet tooth and began juicing a bit. I had bought a juicer a month ago, and there is stayed by the basement door ( I couldn’t’ possibly move it to use because the cat really liked sleeping on it!) Today was the day the cat was out of luck, and my first concoction was beet/carrot/blueberry/ginger/lime and it was dang tasty, the only drawback is that I felt like I should be in a Twilight movie biting on somebody’s neck.
Every day. I will post something. Every day. Help hold me to it if you can. At the end of the 25 days I want to be in a great place to keep moving forward.
“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.”-Steve Maraboli