Shed your skin.

It’s been awhile, friends since I have posted, but I think you will be hearing from me a bit more. The last few years have tested me in ways I never could have imagined. I have been broken wide open, physically, mentally and emotionally.  I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, then about a year later inaccurately diagnosed with a terrifying liver condition which in the end turned out not to be a liver condition at all, but a pesky blood clot that went to my lungs. Soon after that was resolved I  powered through two back to back knee replacements. In the midst of all this turmoil, my mom was handed the devastating diagnosed of Alzheimer’s disease.  As I write these words it seems almost unbelievable to be at this place.  Clumsily dancing in this catastrophic eye of the hurricane became somehow miraculously balanced out with the sweetest moments you could ever ask for, those moments that let you know your sturdy soul and hammered heart are still capable of loving with wild abandon.  As always that beautifully crocked laugh line smile took my breath away.

So there is the short recap to catch you up, as well as knowing that Tristan continues to thrive, love and trust, and Tully and Maggie are glad to be by his side. So I wanted you know that after a very long wait, and my RA doctor’s’ orders  the excess skin on my arms from my weight loss has to come off. There is concern infection will set in as I get older with my RA, so tomorrow is the day.

It’s baggage that has defined me for so long with such a deep rooted disgust, a disgust that is palatable… the looks, the stares, and the devil skipping alongside me with every mandatory short sleeve tee-shirt I wear in the summer. It is the sad sack of useless, I carry with me each and every day, but tomorrow the game changes. It’s a big surgery, a little more complicated than the knees, and much longer, recovery is going to be rough and I have been warned I will have healing issues, but I am so damn stubborn I am hoping to defy the odds. If you have some extra good mojo or prayers to spare, I sure could use them come Monday morning around 10:30am. Thank you.

More soon…. Xx

It’s a hard picture to share, but an important one for me. This is what remains after losing over 300lbs. I am ready shed this skin.

 

 

I see you tugging on your shirt
Trying to hide inside of it and hide how much it hurts

Let ’em laugh while they can
Let ’em spin, let ’em scatter in the wind
I have been to the movies, I’ve seen how it ends
And the joke’s on them.

b. carlile

 

 

 

5 Comments

  1. Kim Herman says:

    Lori, you are one tough cookie! I’ve really enjoyed your blog and can’t wait to hear the rest of the story :). I’m so proud of you.

  2. Tammy Gentile says:

    Looking good Lori and glad to hear surgery went well. Listen to the doctors for you speedy recovery.

    Let me know if you or Mom need anything.

    Love you
    Tammy

  3. Susan says:

    You’re on my mind right this moment. May your surgeon’s hands be steady, your care team be alert and your healing defy odds. You’re tough, strong and kind. You will get through this with style and laughter. Lots of good stuff your way from a distant friend.

  4. Lillian Westfelt says:

    I’ll be thinking only positive thoughts and hoping for the best for you.

  5. Nancy Bailey says:

    You’ve got this! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You. Are. Amazing! I’ll be in touch to bring dinner soon!

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